


Joon's Decision

by thealigirl8



Category: MBLAQ
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3325439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealigirl8/pseuds/thealigirl8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Lee Joon really came to the decision to leave MBLAQ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Joon's Decision

The soft yellow light from one lamp gently illuminated the bedroom where two young men laid on their sides facing each other. A lot had happened that day and Seungho knew the other was troubled. The contemplative silence was tentatively broken as the perturbed one finally actualized his uncertainty in speech. 

“Hey, Seungho?”

“Yeah?”

There was a deep pause as the handsome man tried to catalogue and organize his chaotic thoughts. 

“Do you think it’s a good idea?” 

The question seemed ambiguous but no clarification was needed for the man who took a deep breath and weighed his words before releasing them to the air. “I think it’s time for you to do what you want to do. Your contract is up soon and this could be your opportunity to finally realize your dream.”

“I don’t regret becoming an idol.”

“I know.”

“We won’t see each other every day.”

“No, but this could be good for us. We won’t always be together so we won’t bicker so much and we won’t be under constant scrutiny so we can be less paranoid about being discovered.”

“The fans will be disappointed.”

“They will but they also know you always wanted to be an actor. It was Rain who told you to be an idol first.”

“But what will you guys do?”

“Cheolyong will miss you but he’ll be alright. Byunghee always knew this day was coming. Sanghyun will probably -”

“I think Sanghyun wants to go too.” This was whispered softly, as if afraid, no wary, of the response. 

“Oh.”

“You know he barely gets any lines in our songs.”

“That’s not what this is about though, right?”

“Not for me, no, but I definitely think this hasn’t been what Sanghyun pictured it would be. He could shine so much more as an individual.”

“But if he wants the spotlight, he could always just have a solo debut, I don’t understand why he has to leave.”

“So it’s okay for me to leave, but not Sanghyun?”

“You know that’s not what I meant. You never really wanted to be a singer; Sanghyun would just be leaving to get more attention.”

Heavy, tension-filled silence permeated the room as both men regretted the words just said.

“That’s not fair.”

“I know, I hated myself the second I said it.”

“You can’t help the way you feel. But Sanghyun’s contract ends around the same time as mine and he has the same right to a dream as I do.”

“So three members, huh? There aren’t many trios out there; I hope the agency doesn’t add new members after five years together.”

“There’s nothing wrong with new members. Look at how many groups have had success after changes in the line-up. Maybe MBLAQ will get ever more popular after we leave.”

“Maybe. But it would feel too much like they’re trying to replace you.”

“Just promise me you’ll give the new guys a chance if there are any.”

“I’ll try.”

“What about you, will you be alright?” Insecurity leaked through the sentence. This was a man who had been told by the industry over and over that he was in fact replaceable, a dime a dozen, and he couldn’t help feeling that he would be forgotten once out of sight.

“I’ll miss you a lot but I know this is the right decision for you. We can call every night and see each other for dates whenever I’m not promoting and you’re not filming. It’ll be different but it’ll be good.” The ‘and you’ll be happier’ was left unsaid but hung heavy in the air as both men knew the health issues he had been fighting. “And actors usually get more privacy so maybe we can have sex without scouting out the entire apartment first.”

“And we can try phone sex again.”

“Why? That was a total wreck last time.” Laughter filled the room for the first time that night as they remembered the awkwardness and giggles that led to neither of them getting off. As the mirth died down, a calm settled around the bed as a decision had been made and both were content.

“Will you help me tell the others tomorrow?”

“Well, like I said, I think Byunghee already knows and Sanghyun’s leaving as well so you two just have Cheolyong to tell. I think you guys should do that yourselves, Cheolyong’s always looked up to you the most.”

“I just don’t want to hurt him. I’m not abandoning him, just switching career paths a bit.”

“He’ll see that after he gets over the fact that he won’t see you as much. Don’t worry, he’ll still love you.”

“Don’t be jealous~”

“Not jealous, just a fact.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You’re mine.”

“I know.” They grinned at each other before the same man spoke, disquiet rearing its ugly head once more. “It’ll all be okay, right?”

“Yeah, everything will be alright.”

They shared a light kiss before one yawned and the other laughed and they both realized it was way past their bed time. With a reassured heart, the new actor reached over to turn off the lamp light on his side of the bed. Settling back on his side, but facing away from his lover because that side was just more comfortable, he smiled when a rough hand ran over his hip to tangle with his hand.

“Hey, Seungho?”

“Yeah?”

“See you tomorrow.”

A gentle smile graced Seungho’s face at the promise of a new tomorrow but a tomorrow where they would still be together. “Sleep well baby.”


End file.
